Fakeaholism: The New Diabetes

It was a dark night, I knew because I couldn't see anything.  That's when it hit me.  I realized my life was a joke.  I couldn't even be addicted to real alcohol.  I was a fake-aholic.  I was was addicted to fake-ahol.  The worst wasn't over.  I looked in the mirror and this is what i saw.

   I learned my lesson, but it was too late for me.  Don't become a statistic.

   With love,

   Roger Ebert xox